The delicate dance between entrepreneurship and marriage takes center stage in this heartfelt conversation with Sy and Sara Kirby. The couple opens up about the challenges and triumphs of building a construction business while raising a family and nurturing their relationship.
From the beginning, their different approaches were evident - Sy focused on scaling the business to eight figures while Sara concentrated on managing day-to-day operations and stability. This natural tension between visionary thinking and practical execution created both friction and balance, ultimately strengthening their partnership through honest communication.
The Kirbys don't pretend to have it all figured out. With refreshing candor, they admit to costly mistakes like prioritizing growth over systems, getting "hot-headed" about early success, and learning the hard way about proper accounting controls. Their transparency about these struggles provides valuable lessons for listeners facing similar challenges in their own businesses.
A profound shift occurred when Sy reconsidered what legacy truly means. Inspired by industry leader Herb Sargent's wisdom that "legacy is not about what you build and leave, it's about what you build and leave in people," he began prioritizing his presence with his children and investing in his employees' personal growth. This people-first approach transformed both his leadership style and family life.
The episode concludes with a practical challenge for couples in business together: dedicate 20 minutes to discussing your five-year vision, both personally and professionally. Write down five goals, agree on priorities, and identify small steps to move forward together. By posting these goals somewhere visible, you create daily reminders of what you're working toward beyond the immediate demands of your business.
Ready to strengthen both your business and relationship? Subscribe to the Blue Collar Business Podcast for more authentic conversations about entrepreneurship, marriage, and building a life that supports your vision rather than consumes it.
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More About this Episode
Building a Legacy Beyond the Business: Creating a Shared Future in Life, Love, and Work
In the trenches of running a business, especially a blue-collar business, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle. The deadlines, the job sites, the clients, the bills, it all demands your time, your energy, and often, your marriage. When you're building something from nothing, the future can either be a guiding light or a far-off fantasy you don’t have time to think about. But the truth is, if you're not talking about the future, you're risking everything you’re building today. Not just the business, but your family, your peace, your marriage, your legacy.
This isn’t a recap of our “Date Night” podcast series; it’s a reflection of one of the most important topics we've tackled: building a future together. A shared vision. A legacy. And not the kind you think.
When Business Is the Priority, Family Can Pay the Price
Let’s be real. When you’re in the thick of growing a business, especially one that feeds your family and employs people you care about, the relationship at home can quickly become an afterthought. Add in a few kids, and before you know it, the very reasons you started this business can start to feel like a burden.
In our case, it took us carving out time without distractions, just us to really start talking about the things we hadn’t before. The things we thought we’d just figure out along the way. Spoiler alert: they don’t figure themselves out.
Our journey hasn’t been pretty. It’s been raw, messy, expensive, and at times, humiliating. But it’s also been deeply transformative. And today, I want to talk to you about why building your future together isn’t just necessary, it’s urgent.
The Visionary and the Realist: Learning to Meet in the Middle
In most partnerships, especially husband-wife business teams, you’ll usually find one person who dreams big and another who makes sure those dreams actually happen. I’m the visionary. My wife, Sara, is the realist. The controller. The one who makes sure there’s cash flow to cover payroll. The one who makes sure systems are in place before we scale.
And for years, we were speaking different languages. I was thinking 10 years down the road, while she was just trying to figure out how to make it to Friday. I wanted to scale; she wanted stability. I was out chasing the next big job; she was managing the chaos I left in my wake.
It took a long time for us to realize that neither of us was wrong; we were just looking at the same future from opposite ends of the table. And until we learned to value both perspectives equally, we kept running in circles.
Lesson: If your partner doesn’t share your vision, don’t dismiss it, refine it together. Communicate with the goal of understanding, not convincing.
When It Shifted From “Work” to “Legacy”
There was a moment a few years in where I realized we weren’t just working anymore. We were building something. Not just revenue. Not just jobs. Something bigger.
And I got arrogant. Thought I had it all figured out.
We scaled too fast. We made hires we weren’t ready to support. We burned through money and made decisions based on emotion instead of data. I ignored systems in favor of speed. And I got humbled.
That moment was painful, but it was necessary. Because it helped me see that we weren’t just building a business, we were shaping our family’s legacy. And legacies aren’t built in haste; they’re built in intention.
Redefining Legacy: It’s Not What You Leave For People
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned recently came from a leader I admire, Herb Sargent. He said:
“Legacy is not about what you build and leave. It’s about what you build and leave in people.”
That quote wrecked me. For so long, I was focused on building something I could pass down to my kids: assets, income, a business. But the most important thing I can leave them isn’t tangible.
Its values. Work ethic. Integrity. Compassion. Grit.
Legacy is about who you become and what you instill in others, your kids, your employees, your community, not just what you achieve.
How We’re Now Planning Our Future (And Why You Should Too)
We’ve started doing something simple but powerful: we sit down and write goals together. And not just business goals, but personal and family goals.
Here’s how we do it:
- Personal Goals (Separately) Each of us writes out five personal goals. Things we want to accomplish individually in the next 1, 3, or 5 years.
- Shared Goals (Together) Then we sit down and share our lists. We find where our paths align and where they differ. We don’t argue; we negotiate. We look for the “why” behind each goal.
- Post Them Up We write the agreed-upon goals down and place them where we see them daily. Bathroom mirrors. Dashboards. Office whiteboards. Constant reminders of what we’re working toward together.
- Revisit and Adjust Goals change. Life changes. But if you don’t revisit them, you’ll end up somewhere you didn’t intend to go.
Talking About the Future Without Fighting About It
Let’s be honest: future talk can get heated.
The visionary feels misunderstood. The realist feels unheard. And both end up overwhelmed.
Here’s what we’ve learned:
- Timing matters. Don’t drop major future talk after a 12-hour workday or during bedtime chaos with the kids. Find a time that’s calm and undistracted.
- Tone matters. It’s not about being right, it's about being aligned. Come into the conversation curious, not combative.
- Perspective matters. Just because your spouse doesn’t see the same end game doesn’t mean they don’t care. They might be focused on getting your family through today and that matters too.
Make Sure the Business Serves Your Life, Not the Other Way Around
If there’s one thing we’ve gotten wrong repeatedly, it’s this: for years, our business ran our life. We thought that was just the cost of doing business. But it’s not sustainable. And it’s not healthy.
We’re still learning this. We’re still reshaping systems and boundaries to make sure our life isn't dictated by job schedules and client demands. But we’re making progress.
Action step: Audit your calendar. Look at your week. Does your schedule reflect your values or just your obligations?
The Challenge: Set a Future Date Today
Here’s your challenge:
- Find 20 minutes this week to sit down with your spouse or business partner.
- Ask each other: “Where do we want to be in 5 years?”
- Focus not just on revenue or team size, but on life. Where do you want to live? What do you want to be doing? What kind of parent or partner do you want to be?
- Write it down. Keep it visible.
This one small conversation could be the spark that changes everything.
The truth is, your future is already being shaped either by design or by default. You can either intentionally build it together or let the chaos of today determine your tomorrow.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. But you do need to talk about it.
Because the legacy you’re building isn’t the company, or the income, or the lifestyle. It’s the moments. The values. The growth. The support. The example you set for your kids. The impact you leave in the people around you.
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